FORGIVENESS
By Keith Sharp and reworked by David Riggs
Intro.
A. This is from Keith Sharp: "Years ago I had a close friend who
was a deacon in the congregation where I preached. He
contracted to erect a new building for the congregation. One of
the elders consistently and unreasonably complained at every
step of the construction. This was a real sin that should have
been corrected. But instead of trying to get the elder to
repent, my friend sullenly built up resentment and anger and
eventually fell away from the Lord. He allowed a sin against
him to cause him to sin against the Lord. Thankfully, he later
corrected his mistake and returned to the Lord."
B. This deacon's mistake was to hold a grudge toward the one who
mistreated him rather than to seek the sinner's repentance.
I. CONSIDER PAUL'S EXHORTATION IN EPH. 4:31-32.
A. "Bitterness" refers to bitter hatred, animosity, i.e., holding
a grudge. " Wrath" is passionate anger that results in verbal
abuse or violence. "Clamor" refers to loud arguments and
quarrels. "Evil speaking" is slander, speech injurious to
another's good name, defamation, or abusive speech. "Malice" is
an evil disposition of mind, the desire to hurt someone.
B. It should be obvious that there is no place for holding a
grudge in the life of a Christian.
1. It is said that in Polynesia, where the natives spend so
much time fighting, it is customary for each man to keep
some reminders of his hatred. Articles are suspended from
the roofs of their huts to keep alive the memories of the
wrongs they have suffered.
II. WE CANNOT SEEK PERSONAL VENGEANCE.
A. "Vengeance" is "punishment...to avenge an injured person...to
inflict punishment on." (Thayer)
1. There is a plaque that says, "I don't get mad; I get even."
a. This is not the way of Christ.
B. "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate;
when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted
himself to him who judges justly." 1 Pet. 2:23 NIV
1. Jesus did not seek to trade insult for insult, injury for
injury. In perfect example for us, He left vengeance to God.
2. We, as He, should do good in return for evil, eliminate our
enemies by turning them into friends, and change children of
Satan into children of God. Rom. 12:17-21
III. WE MUST FORGIVE.
A. Remember the model prayer. Matt. 6:12; Luke 11:4
B. Biblical "forgiveness" is "primarily, to send forth, send
away...to remit...It means the debt of sin is "completely
canceled." (Vine)
C. When God forgives, it's as if the wrong had never been done.
Psalm 103:12; Micah 7:18-19
1. The broken fellowship can be restored. Rev. 3:19-20
D. After the Master had taught the disciples what to do to restore
an offending brother, Peter inquired, "Lord, how often shall my
brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"
Matt. 18:21
1. Peter doubtless thought he was being exceedingly generous.
The Lord replied, "I do not say to you, up to seven times,
but up to seventy times seven." Matt. 18:22
2. So, should we keep count until our brother has wronged us
490 times, then refuse to forgive after that? Have you
sinned against God 490 times? Do you expect Him to forgive
you the 491st time?
3. There is no limit to the number of times we should forgive
one who sins against us and repents.
E. Jesus related a parable to enforce the point. Matt. 18:23-35
1. The servant of a king owed his master 10,000 talents. Each
talent was equal to 91 pounds. There are 16 ounces in each
pound. Thus, depending on the price of silver, his debt was
equivalent to around 16 million dollars! What a debt! It
could never be paid!
a. When the king threatened to sell the servant and his
family into slavery, the servant desperately begged time
to pay.
2. The king went even further than the request. In pity, he
forgave the entire, huge debt. What a loving, kind, merciful
master. Of course, the king represents God.
3. When the servant left the king, he met a fellow servant who
owed him 100 denarii.
a. This was equivalent of 100 days' wages for common
labor. Matthew 20:2,13
b. This debt could have been paid. It was very small in
comparison to the debt which the king had forgiven.
c. The forgiven servant violently demanded repayment
from his fellow servant; and, when the fellow servant
begged for time to pay, he refused and had him thrown
into prison.
4. When the king learned of this, he sternly rebuked the
unforgiving servant for his lack of compassion and turned
him over to torturers until he paid all his debt.
5. Jesus' own application is in verse 35.
F. The injury a brother has done to me might be serious, but it is
slight indeed when compared to our sins against God.
1. If we will not forgive others, God will not forgive us.
IV. ARE THERE ANY CONDITIONS TO FORGIVENESS?
A. C.A. Cornelius, a pioneer preacher, told of a congregation in
Oklahoma that divided between "forgivers" and "unforgivers."
1. They disagreed on the conditions a brother who has injured
us must meet before we are to forgive him.
B. We must always have a readiness to forgive.
1. We are not obligated to forgive if the person hasn't
repented of anything.
a. Luke 17:3-4 - Notice that the one "repents."
b. Sometimes parents, or perhaps a spouse, fail in this. Out
of love, they are overready to forgive even though their
loved one hasn't repented.
c. This often encourages the loved one to continue sinning.
C. When there is a problem, we should seek to be reconciled. In
other words, we should never be the cause of the problem. Matt.
5:23-24
1. Some won't repent no matter what we do. Matt. 18:15-17
a. It takes genuine love and concern to do as the Lord
requires in these verses.
V. SOMEONE WILL SAY, "BUT I JUST CAN'T FORGIVE HIM!"
A. More than once I've heard someone complain, "But I just can't
forgive him! You just don't understand how much he hurt me!" Is
that so?
B. Did he throw you into a pit, sell you into slavery, and
separate you from your family for eighteen years? That's what
Joseph's brothers did to him; yet, he forgave them. Gen.
50:14-21
C. Did he insistently, unreasonably demand your death, though you
were innocent? Did he demand that a murderer and
insurrectionist be released rather than you? Did he beat you so
brutally that it almost killed you? Did he push a crown of
thorns down on your head, strip you, put ridiculous clothes on
you, mock you, hit you and spit in your face, make you carry
your own instrument of death, give you vinegar and gall to
drink, nail you to a cross, and ridicule you as you were dying?
1. Yes, that's what they did to Jesus. And how did He respond?
Did he curse them in the name of the Lord?
2. No, instead, he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not
know what they do." Luke 23:34
D. Forgiveness takes "tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of
mind, meekness, longsuffering." Col. 3:12
1. Holding a grudge and getting even takes cruelty, hard
heartedness, pride, harshness and impatience.
a. Now, which set of characteristics describes Jesus?
Which describes us?
2. The sullen anger and hatred stored inside destroys love, and
causes one to stumble blindly in spiritual darkness and
death. 1 John 2:9-11; 3:14-15
Concl.
A. Has someone done you a grievous wrong?
B. If so, out of love try to reach them. If they repent forgive
them.
C. Let us forgive others, even as Christ has forgiven us.