MAN'S GOD-GIVEN ROLE

By David J. Riggs

Intro.
   A. Our society has pushed "woman's liberation" and "woman's
      rights" to the point that many women want to be equal with men
      in every way.
      1. They want to take upon themselves exactly the same role as
         men.
   B. Many men in our time, confused about the matter, fail to adopt
      their God-given role.
      1. Women are not inferior to men, but they do have a different
         role.
         a. No man can be a mother and no woman can be a father.
         b. God has given each a different body and a different role
            in life.
      2. This role is not merely a result of custom, nor it is       
         prompted by male chauvinism, but is of divine origin.
   C. We will follow this lesson, "Man's God-given role," with a     
      lesson on "Woman's God-given role."

I. THE HEADSHIP OF THE MAN IS A ROLE GIVEN BY GOD. 1 Cor. 11:3
   A. 1 Tim. 2:11-15 - Thus, the woman is not to have authority over
      the man for two reasons:
      1. The man was first formed. Gen. 2:7-8, 18, 23-25
      2. The woman was the one deceived, not Adam.
         a. Adam knew that the eating of the fruit was wrong, but
            he did it anyway.
         b. However, he didn't believe, as did Eve, that eating the
            fruit would make him like God. Gen. 3:4-6
   B. God placed man as the head of the family. Eph. 5:22-25; 1 Tim.
      3:4-5
      1. Man is to use wisdom in this matter.
         a. He is to dwell with his wife with understanding. 1 Pet.
            3:7
         b. He is not to be bitter or harsh toward his wife. Col.    
            3:19
         c. This illustration comes from "Illustrations Unlimited" by
            James S. Hewett, p. 501, "A tyrannical husband
            demanded that his wife conform to rigid standards of his
            choosing. She was to do certain things for him as a wife,
            mother, and homemaker. In time she came to hate her
            husband as much as she hated his list of rules and
            regulations. Then, one day he died. Some time later, she
            fell in love with another man and married him. She and
            her new husband lived on a perpetual honeymoon.
            Joyfully, she devoted herself to his happiness and
            welfare. One day she ran across one of the sheets of
            do's and don't's her first husband had written for her.
            To her amazement she found that she was doing for her
            second husband all the things her first had demanded of
            her, but she was joyfully doing them as an expression of
            her love for him and her desire to please him.
         d. To have genuine love in a marriage is a great challenge
            for all couples.

II. HEADSHIP CARRIES RESPONSIBILITY.
   A. The man has a heavier responsibility than his wife because he  
      is head.
      1. The instruction to the wife to submit may seem more
         difficult; however, truthfully, her role is easy, compared  
         to his.
      2. Many homes fail because husbands fail as heads.
         a. The marriage fails because the man fails to maintain
            leadership in love, guidance and protection.
      3. The husband may be the "head over the wife" by divine law,
         but it means more than position only.
   B. Leadership is earned. 
      1. If the husband and father sets a good example, his wife
         and children will follow in his steps.
         a. As Jesus went about His Father's business, so should
            we.
            (1) He assembled for Bible study. Luke 4:16
            (2) He showed compassion for the needy. Luke
                17:11-19; Mark 10:46-52
            (3) He noticed the unnoticed. Luke 19:1-10
            (4) He rebuked the erring. Matt 23:1-39
            (5) He encouraged the discouraged. John 14:1-6
            (6) He trained the untrained. Mark 6:6-13
            (7) He answered the inquirers. Luke 10:25-37
            (8) He interested the disinterested. John 4:5-15
            (9) He continually prayed to His Father. John
                17:20-23
            (10) He finished His course. John 17:4; 19:30
         b. Someone wrote, "If I wanted to find out whether a man
            was a Christian, I wouldn't go to his minister. I would
            go to his wife. If a man doesn't treat his wife right, he
            certainly is not a Christian."
         c. The husbands should be the leader in living the Christian
            life; this is what true headship is all about.
      2. A good husband and leader truly loves.
         a. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the
            church. Eph. 5:25
            (1) He is to love her as his own body. Eph. 5:28-29
         b. Someone wrote these comments: "Though one speaks
            with all the poetry of Elizabeth Barrett or Robert
            Browning, and sprinkles his conversations with,
            'Darling,' 'Sweetheart,' 'Honey,' and 'I love you,' but
            has not love, he's just making a meaningless noise.
            Though one reads all the books on 'How to have a
            happy marriage,' and attends numerous marriage
            conferences, seminars, and enrichments, but has not
            love, he is worthless as a marriage partner. Though one
            performs all his marital responsibilities, even to the   
            point of being fatigued, ruining his health, or dying in 
            the process, but has not love, all his grand actions are
            nothing more than a wad of used chewing gum."

III. SOME PITFALLS TO AVOID.
   A. Avoid in-law problems.
      1. One is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his     
         wife. Matt. 19:5
      2. When a new family is formed by marriage, the parents must
         be careful to not get overly involved in the matters of the
         new relationship.
      3. For a child to rely on "Momma," or "Daddy" every time
         there is a squabble or problem, is very bad.
      4. It invariably will, sooner or later, cause conflicts. It    
         could even destroy the marriage.
   B. Give yourself to each other. 1 Cor. 7:1-5
      1. Work at understanding each other's emotional and physical
         needs, and be patient with one another, but most of all,    
         keep pure for each other. Heb. 13:4
      2. Always be kind and courteous to each other.
         a. There was once a man who took pride in never opening
            the door for his wife. He was fond of saying, "She
            doesn't have two broken arms, let her open her own
            door." After many years of marriage, his wife died, and
            he was heartbroken because he truly loved her. As the
            pallbearers brought her casket out of the funeral
            services, her husband reached the hearse ahead of them.
            The mortician was back a few feet and, since he knew
            the husband quite well, he called him by name and said,
            "Open the door for her, will you?" The man reached for
            the door handle and then, for one second, froze. He
            realized he had never opened a car door for her in his
            life; now, it would be the first, last, and only time. It
            was a moment when great regrets came crushing down upon
            him.
   C. Be a diligent worker. Prov. 6:6-11; 1 Tim. 5:8
      1. In the beginning, God placed on the man the primary role as
         "bread winner." Gen. 3:17-19
      2. A young man said to his friend, "My father now has two
         wives to feed." His friend said, "Has your father gotten
         married to another woman?" He answered, "No, I got
         married!"
      3. Some young men want to get married, but have developed
         only enough skills to get a minimum wage paying job.
         a. Nowadays, it is wise for young men to obtain a college
            degree, and/or some other skill so that he can
            adequately support his family.
   D. Promote love and happiness.
      1. The husband needs to be the leader in keeping the spark     
         alive in the marriage.
      2. Consider these comments from Bill Hybels, in an article
         entitled, "Tender Love" in Marriage Partnership, Vol. 10,
         No. 3, "It's vital to balance the competing demands in your
         life so you can make marriage-building a priority. Do some
         of the crazy things you did together when you were dating.
         Remember how good it feels to hold your spouse's hand on a
         walk around the block. Go out on picnics in the middle of
         the woods. Find a secluded beach and do...whatever comes
         naturally. Life is too short to be driven continually by
         Day-Timers, calendar and watches. Laugh a lot. Enjoy each
         other. Love must rest on trust, honesty, and plain old fun. 
         It is only when those foundations are built and maintained  
         that oneness, the self-giving union of two souls, is        
         possible."
      3. As we said, since the husband is "head," he needs to be the
         leader in having a happy family.
         a. We as Christians know that permanent love and
            happiness comes through serving God; thus, the father,
            as head of his family, needs to be the leader in
            promoting service to God. Eph. 6:4
         b. Consider what God said of Abraham. Gen. 18:19
         c. Consider the corrupt speech of Saul to his son Jonathan,
            which showed that he was a corrupt father. 1 Sam.
            20:30

Concl.
   A. Those of us who are males, let us understand our God-given     
      role, and do our best to fulfill it.
      1. Remember that it is God who ordained the roles for men and
         women.
      2. Those God-ordained roles will always remain the same
         whether man chooses to recognize them or not.
   B. Let us respect God and do our best in serving Him, in the way  
      He prescribed to each of us.

Chart:
As Jesus went about His Father's business, so should we.

1. He assembled for Bible study. Luke 4:16

2. He showed compassion for the needy. Luke 17:11-19; Mark 10:46-52

3. He noticed the unnoticed. Luke 19:1-10

4. He rebuked the erring. Matt 23:1-39

5. He encouraged the discouraged. John 14:1-6

6. He trained the untrained. Mark 6:6-13

7. He answered the inquirers. Luke 10:25-37

8. He interested the disinterested. John 4:5-15

9. He continually prayed to His Father. John 17:20-23