Speaking the Truth in Love
What God Intended for Marriage
I. INTRODUCTION
A. Marriage today is not taken seriously
1. Reality TV show married two people who never met before SIMPLY for entertainment
2. Jokes about dating next X-wife
3. People treat marriages like a house or a car
a. grow out of it and get a new one
b. keep it till the novelty wears off
4. Annulments are viewed as a legitimate absolution of a marriage
5. Legal separation is viewed as a wise decision for couples who:
a. cannot afford to divorce
b. want to "give their marriage another chance"
c. simply want to take a vacation from their spouse
B. God has a plan for marriage and it DOES NOT include annulments, prenuptial agreements, legal separation, or even DIVORCE!
1. Teach on scriptural divorce
2. Good to know and understand scriptural divorce and remarriage
3. BUT if everyone understood WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR MARRIAGE, teaching on divorce and remarriage could take a lower priority
4. In fact if everyone focused on WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR MARRIAGE, there would be no need for a continued lessons on scriptural divorce and remarriage
D. Today's lesson - look at WHAT GOD INTENDED FOR MARRIAGE "from the beginning"
II. MATTHEW 19:3-12
A. Marriage was instituted in the beginning - verses 4, 8
B. Perversion of marriage is not a new concept
1. God's plan for marriage HAS NOT changed - verse 8
2. The disciples immediately recognized the gravity of Jesus' statement and how different it was from what they were accustomed to - verse 10
3. Jesus knew that the statement was hard and not all could except it - verse 11
a. What was hard?
b. Why was it hard to except?
4. Those who are interested in the Kingdom of Heaven need to take whatever measure necessary to aid them - verse 12
C. What has been since the beginning? Marriage is:
1. Between A MAN and A WOMAN - verses 4-5
a. God created Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve
b. God created Adam and Eve NOT Andrea and Eve
c. God created Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Eve, Jennifer, Stephanie, and Jessica
d. God created Adam and Eve NOT Eve and Adam, Steve, John, Dave, and Phil
*Homosexuality is becoming more and more acceptable in our country, but to God it is and has always been an abomination (Leviticus 20:13).
2. Two (MAN and WOMAN) becoming "one flesh" - verse 5
3. The sexual union is exclusive - verse 9
a. Disgracing this exclusivity by committing fornication - adultery [having sex with someone who IS NOT part of your being (your spouse)] is the only reason divorce is allowed
b. Not my goal nor intent to focus on scriptural divorce and remarriage
c. However - simple topic - complicated to bend God's instruction to fit man's will into it
i. Married - DO NOT commit adultery
ii. Single - DO NOT marry someone who has been put away OR someone who GOD did not release from marriage
(1) Short term verses long term consequences
(2) Sure, positive, and immediate
4. While on the topic of scriptural ending to marriage, there is one other and that is Death - Romans 7:2
III. What does the Bible specifically say about marriage?
A. What is marriage, where did it come from, and why?
a. WHAT: As in Matthew 19, the two shall become one flesh, a physical and intimate union of mind and body - verse 24
b. WHERE: God - verses 18, 24
c. WHY: Not good for man to be alone - verse 18, Needed a helper suitable to him - verse 20
B. What is intended for marriage?
1. A UNION between man and woman
a. The woman will be a helper to man - verse 20 - Suitable in every situation - mental, spiritual, emotional, social, and physical
b. The two will enjoy each others company so that man will not be alone - verse 18
c. The two will become one - verse 24
a. Sex is one of the strongest desires humans face
b. God recognizes this - verse 5
c. Avenue - Hebrews 13:4 says the marriage bed is undefiled
i. Undefiled for a husband and his wife
ii. Defiled for anyone who is not married!
d. DO NOT deprive one another - verse 5
i. If you are depriving your spouse then you are putting a stumbling block in his OR her path
(1) resentment
(2) infidelity
(3) lust
ii. Whether or not your spouse stumbles YOU will be held accountable for your actions
iii. In marriage your spouse has authority over your body, not yourself! - verse 4
3. Why focus on the sexual union?
a. Because God did
b. Because of it serious consequences
4. Sex is beautiful and undefiled in marriage
a. Many times sex is taught as a terrible and sinful action only those without self control participate in
b. I tell you the Bible teaches otherwise!
i. The book Song of Solomon is full of imagery depicting the beauty of the sexual union between husband and wife
ii. If sex were only a item to be participated in when self-control is lacking, then why is there a book in the Bible depicting it as something done out of love?
iii. As is normal and appropriate teaching is done on a topic people need to hear
(1) Often, to help secure the point, sex is portrayed as evil
(2) Sex outside of marriage is sinful and sin is evil
(3) However, let us go a little deeper than simply, "sin is evil, don't do it"
(a) Sex is a beautiful union to be enjoyed between a husband and his wife
(b) This union is pure, undefiled, and without guilt
(c) Do not taint this pure, undefiled, guiltless union with premarital sex
(d) If you already have please stop cheapening this union meant only for marriage
(e) A road taken once is easy to take again. Barricade the road and take the road in sin no more
(f) Not ruined, used goods, undeserving of a good spouse (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Keep the clean clothes the Lord gave you to wear and sin no more!
(g) Speaking to Christians here - If you cannot stop or your every focus in on it because you are in (real) love. Read the Song of Solomon and think it could be depicting you and your girlfriend or boyfriend. Get married! (1 Corinthians 7:9). Notice money is not mentioned as a reason to not get married, nor timing, nor parents. Only focus on God is mentioned
IV. What else does the Bible teach on marriage? How is a husband supposed to act toward his wife? How is a wife to act toward her husband?
A. Love
1. Colossians 3:19 - the Husband is to love his wife
2. Titus 2:4 - an older woman is to teach the younger woman to love her husband
1. Wife is to be submissive to her husband
2. Husband is to be understanding and honor the wife
3. Verses 8-9
a. Harmonious (all of one mind)
b. Sympathetic (compassion one for another)
c. Brotherly
d. Kindhearted (tenderhearted)
e. humble in spirit (courteous)
f. Do not return evil for evil
g. Do not return and insult for an insult BUT a blessing instead! (reviling)
C. How do I implement these things above? - Ephesians 5:22-33
1. How women are to be subject? - verse 22 "…as to the Lord"
2. How is the husband the head over the wife? - verse 23 - "…as Christ is also the head over the church"
3. How should a husband and wife interact together? verse 24 - As the church should interact with Christ and as Christ interacts with the church
a. Husbands, would Christ:
i. speak out of anger to his church?
ii. be bitter toward his church?
iii. backbite, mock, or ridicule his church?
iv. ask the church for more than he himself was willing to give?
v. make unreasonable demands of the church?
vi. expect the church to simply guess his desires?
b. Wives, would the church be right to:
i. go against Christ's desires?
ii. worship another god?
iii. disrespect Christ?
iv. second guess Christ's every decision?
v. give Christ the silent treatment?
vi. trick Christ into doing the church's will?
c. Analogy does break down in one very important area
i. Christ is perfect, husbands are not.
ii. Christ's actions are pure and therefore go without question from his church
iii. A wife should question a husband's actions
(1) with respect
(2) and in subjection
D. Communication is essential to a successful marriage
1. How did Christ communicate with his church?
a. In rash, uncontrolled outbursts?
b. Like a farmer to his dog?
c. Like a dog to other dogs?
2. How does the church communicate with Christ (or God)?
a. Without thought or concern?
b. Without love?
c. As his master?
3. Emotions and thoughts play into communication
a. There is a language of hate - Colossians 3:8-9
i. anger
ii. wrath
iii. malice
iv. slander (blasphemy)
v. abusive speech (filthy language)
vi. lying
b. To that list we can add:
i. arrogance and pride
ii. jealousy
iii. cynicism
iv. etc…
c. There is a language of love - Colossians 3:12-13
i. Tender mercy
ii. Kindness
iii. Humility
iv. Meekness
v. Longsuffering
vi. Bearing one another (patient)
vii. Forgiving
V. CONCLUSION
God's instructions on marriage are very clear and can lead to a beautiful relationship. The marriage relationship is one of the wonderful things this life has to offer. Unfortunately man has confused things by bringing in sinful practices such as no fault divorces, same sex marriages, and making marriage into a trial and error exercise. Young Christians need to look at marriage as one spouse for life! Friends in the world need to listen to the passage that we mentioned previously in the program (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Adultery, homosexuality, and fornication are sins that need to be repented of. They are sins that you need to be washed of. If you are not a Christian, come out of these sexually immoral relationships and situations by repenting and being baptized! Then you can live a life of fulfillment for the Lord, as He intended! See you next time on, "Speaking the Truth in Love"!
